This week marked six weeks of no running. It’s honestly flown by so fast. In the past, I would have lost my mind, but thankfully this time I was able to do other forms of exercise. Last fall was really rough on my mental health— on top of living alone in a new city during a pandemic, I couldn’t exercise without being in pain, even walking. I watched my weight slowly go up and my pants get tighter and tighter until I only had one pair of jean shorts that fit. On top of that, my finances were bad and I couldn’t afford new clothes that did fit. I was stressed out, unable to workout to relieve that stress, and it was just one big loop.

When I finally accepted that I was hurt this time around, the feelings and emotions from last fall came swarming back in. After some deep breaths, I was determined to make this time around different. Thankfully I was able to do other things without being in pain.

Over the past six weeks, I have fallen in love with HIIT workouts, biking on my lunch breaks, and walks with the dog before and after work. I am more active now than I was when I was regularly running, even though my daily step count is pretty low. Nonetheless, my jeans are starting to fit better and shorts that were too tight last summer are also fitting.

Being injured this time really changed my perspective about running. I don’t know if it’s the 18+ months of no racing or two injuries over the past year, but I really don’t feel the same way that I used to about running. At least for the time being, running has now become something that I like to do because it makes me feel good. I know what you’re thinking, shouldn’t it always be that way? I wish I could say that running has always made me feel good. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never regretted a run, but there have been days, months, even years, where I dreaded runs and was just in it for the social aspect (hello first two years of college).

Over time my relationship has changed and it’s changing again. I spent the last three years of college and the year after college being extremely disciplined and very determined to crush my goal times. I think I just needed a break. And that’s what the pandemic and these two injuries have given me. A much needed break.

I don’t know how long this mindset will last for, but I know that for the time being, I’m focusing on taking it slow, getting stronger, and getting healthy. I still have big goals, but those will be set aside to ensure I can keep running for a long time in the future.