Well, my fall marathon was just moved to a virtual race, so I will not have any in person races this year, and frankly, if things continue the way that they are, I would feel weird about racing in person anyways. I have not been very vocal about races being cancelled because I've been trying to navigate my feelings about it all. I'm at a place now where I can share my thoughts about what's next and how to train in this unusual time.

my thoughts

• Yes it sucks, but races will be there next year (or whenever this thing is over)

• Racing is cancelled, but running is not

• Give yourself grace and patience as you figure out this stage

• You can continue training even without a race to work towards

When races first started getting cancelled in March, I was not that upset about it, which made me feel so bad for those that were devastated because I did not understand what they were feeling. My May marathon got rescheduled on March 23rd and if I’m being honest, I had really been struggling with training, so it felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

To me, it's just a race. Something that I have been doing my whole life. This year, 2020, will be the first year in my whole entire life that I won’t run a race, and honestly I think I needed a break. So when people asked me how I felt or told me they cried about their race being cancelled, I felt so horrible that I did not feel sad. It's not that I don't care about racing, I do, I really do, I was just not that heartbroken about my races being cancelled. However, I may have felt a bit different if I was running Boston for the first time or running another big race.

I want you to know that your feelings are valid. If you are not sad about races being cancelled, it’s okay. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. It’s okay to cry about it, just like it’s okay to not be upset. However, it’s important to realize your feelings and start moving forward. Races will happen before we know it and we should be ready. I know that it can be frustrating trying to figure out what to do with the future of racing so unclear, but it’s good for the soul to let go and keep pushing forward.

So how am I, and how can you, keep pushing forward? I still have to decide what I'm going to do now that my fall marathon has gone virtual, but I'm mulling over a few options:

• Continue training and run the marathon virtually

• Do not run virtual and

  • Continue building a base, take a fall break, then ramp up training in the winter for indoor season

  • Throw out all training plans and just run whenever and however far I feel like— find the joy in running and being active

If you’re like me, you run to compete. You want to get faster, crush PR’s, and crush your goals. If you need something to work towards, get creative with your goals— run your longest run, find a new mountain to climb, run more miles in a week, do a run streak. Maybe you’re feeling burnt out from all of the training you’ve been doing lately. Take a few days off of running, throw out your plan, start running every other day and incorporate a different activity the other days. Or maybe you are determined to run that virtual race, but are nervous about doing it alone; find a running buddy or someone to bike alongside you and help get you through the race.

There are so many opportunities during this weird time, maybe not with racing and hitting PR’s, but you can get stronger, healthier, and more fit. I am kind of enjoying the time “off,” getting time to relax, not having to stress about training, and getting my mind ready to dive into training next year. I’m using this time to find the joy in running and realizing that I do not need a race to be motivated to run.

Last week I started hitting a weekly mileage rather than laying out my whole week. The only run I had planned was my long run and the other days I just ran however far I wanted to. There is such a difference in my attitude now— I’m not stressed about my runs, there is no pressure when I get out the door— just run however far and however fast I want to. No stress, it’s amazing.

Whatever decision you make, take some time and know that this decision is yours to make— don’t feel pressured to run the virtual, don’t stress about getting the miles in, and most of all, don’t let the running community tell you how to feel about the state of racing. Your feelings and decisions are valid.